A serious bone of contention in this house is the new doggie we got from the pound. 50 pound Catahoula hound dog that’s now 6 months old. Sweet, smart, and needs way more exercise than BF is willing and I am able to give him at this point in my bad back saga…after the move even prematurely decrepid old me will be able to walk both dogs on nice flat back roads, but for now…sigh.
He’s bored, the Rexinator, as I call him. He will follow you around with his nose stuffed up the crack of your ass until you freak out on him or sit down, then he lays all over you on the couch…it’s our fault, but still irritating. So yesterday I got sick of the violation of my crack, turned around whilst hollering, “GET OUTTA MY ASS!!!” Before I could make contact, Rex started yelping like I had kicked the shit out of him, so he got a Dog Whisperer thump. But he’s still yelping like my damned Chihuahua when she gets scared. So of course, BF comes flying out of the bathroom yelling “WTF!!!!”
Before I could say what happened, he started yelling about how I had been “beating” the dog off the couch all day yesterday (“Beating?” Really?? Saying “No, dodo” is beating? I’m screwed. Take me to jail). So I called him on that particular word. Then I get to hear how I get hung up on a particular word and blah blah blah…WELL OF COURSE I DO, JACKASS!!! YOU JUST SAID I WAS BEATING THE DOG!!!!! He does that a lot too, uses a nasty word that doesn’t have anything to do with the situation and then tries to get it to slip by. What is that tactic??? “Beating” is a pretty big word when used in that context, and I am sure he knows it.
Ok, the dog isn’t allowed to have toys on the couch, nor, I thought, is he allowed to chew said toys AND the front of the couch at the same time. In fact, I thought we had agreed that any variation of “Rex” and “Chewing” and “Couch” was a no-no. Where I came up with that silliness, I have no clue…but anyway. He’s bored so I had to keep “reminding” the pup all damned day, hence the “dodo” and a few other words. I also didn’t want to have to share my couch with a dog, cuz he sucks at sharing, so I said “Get down” about 650 times too.
But back to getting yelled at (who is he to think he can yell at me anyway?!?!?!), he’s still on the couch thing, and I am trying to defend myself, especially since the dog wasn’t on the couch. BF gets irritated when his crack gets violated too, by the way…but this was clearly going to be a one way conversation. Lucky for me, he decided to go back to his shaving and showering, then went back to the bedroom to play XBox (where he had been the 4 previous days, all day) because he can be pretty long-winded.
I thought he was to be at work at 9am that day, so when 9:45 rolls by, I figured he wasn’t going again because of the rain and went in to take a shower. If he wont work when it’s raining, well, whether I am physically able or not, I need to get a job again. But he came in and said he was going to work. I told him to make sure and take Rex, but he was already outta there.
Because this isn’t the first time he’s jumped my shit about Rex, I have decided to just not have anything to do with the dog. He can feed him every time, walk him every time, AND take him to work with him. After all, I may “beat” him again. The poor hound is probably going to dehydrate because the filling of the water bowl is kind of like the changing of the TP. I am the only one able to do it, for some reason. What sucks is that I love the dog, but if my having anything to do with him is going to do nothing but cause me strife it’s not worth it.
But guess what? I am in fresh trouble this morning!! BF said he was going to leave Rex home. I said, “Ok.” Then he said, “Unless you want me to bring him with me.” So I said that he probably should, and he got mad again, which also happens a lot and makes no sense to me. Don’t give me an out after I already said okey dokey if you don’t want me to take the out.
Whatever, I can barely walk today anyway, I have no business taking his dog out for a walk 60 times while he’s at work…
I can’t win, so fuck it. I finally figured out where I am.